Thirty Five

To the ...

.. newborn - Your dad almost dropped his suitcase on your head when he tossed it over the hospital crib not knowing you were right there. Somedays you made him wish he had but he loved you too much to even think it.

.. 6 year old - Your brother arrived seemingly taller than you at birth. He will become your dearest confidant so the bite you gave him on his arm cause he was stealing your limelight was totally uncalled for.

.. 10 year old - You watched, alone, as your father lay in a cold, cold ICU not understanding the concept of a heart-attack. This experience would give you courage many years later when you sit in a much colder ICU bidding him goodbye.

.. 14 year old - You got your drivers license by dressing up in a sari and wearing flowers in your hair. How did you manage to fail the US drivers license test at 24, when teenagers pass it?

.. 18 year old - You bunked one too many Hindi classes in college. No wonder you get nightmares of not passing your Hindi exam every other night. No wonder you hate Bollywood movies.

.. 20 year old - Learn how to make Aloo Gobi from your Mom, she worries for a reason and not just because she wants to put an add in the Sunday Matrimonials.

.. 21 year old - You will eventually ask the dude who chased you around a tennis court to marry you, so quit playing hard-to-get. That dude is a keeper.

.. 24 year old - You'll move to a city where it rains every day except for one day in July, you will however miss it dearly. Enjoy every single wet raindrop.

.. 26 year old - Buy that Victoria Secret outfit. You will never be a size 6 again and not only will you stop receiving the catalogs they won't even make your size anymore.

.. 30 year old - Don't stress over not getting pregnant. Relax, watch HBO on Sundays even if it's a rerun of the Sopranos as your weekends will never be the same again. You will never be able to sleep-in past 7:30 AY-HEM EVAH.

.. 35 year old - Happy Birthday, baby-O!

Tara's day out

S visited over the weekend and we decided to do what I did as a little girl in Bangalore, go to Cubbon Park. We left Nisha at home, for the record we felt very guilty and decided this would be the last time we go out with only one child. Yes we are terrible parents but by the end of this post you decide if she was better off at home.

We reached Cubbon park at 11am. The park has a train ride which as a kid I used to thoroughly enjoy, I remember it vividly. We'd reach early, get a ticket, then go buy pink cotton candy and get onto the train. As we approached the ticket counter there was a long line with about 100 people ahead of us. I chatted with the anxious parent in front of me who said it opens only at 11:30am, even park attendants wake up late on Saturdays he snickered. S took Tara to play with a Penguin statue (he soon discovered it was a trashbin with no trash inside. Indians throw thrash everywhere but in a bin). The line finally began to inch forward around 11:45am. The first set of folks cramped into the train and I got to the ticket counter.

B A N G !

The electricity goes. The man operating the cash register yells out for a dude called Ganesha to turn the Generator on. Nothing happens. GANESHA he yells again. At that point I wonder if he is actually yelling to the Gods. I wait. I ask why he can't use paper tickets, the cost is Rs10/person it's easy to calculate. He glares at me with a too-much-work look. The people behind me are crushing me trying to edge past while I stick my butt out to block them with my hands firmly at the ticket counter so noone can squeeze their cash in. One parent yells is the Generator at Jog Falls, I laugh with my butt and hands still firmly planted. Finally the guy returns reluctantly with paper tickets and mutters, Ganesha is nowhere, he's probably gone to have his morning chai. (Morning Chai at Noon?) I get the ticket and go to the train stop to find out that S & Tara have already gone on the 5 minute ride without a ticket!

Since I had bought tickets I insist we go again. I wanted to re-live my childhood on the train. As the train creaked forward we gasped at piles of garbage on either side with flies trying to find food. We pass a restroom which was so filthy I thanked the stars for my strong well-trained bladder. Right next to the restroom was a sign that boosted "First in Cleanliness" I almost dropped my camera in shock so couldn't get a picture of that. We continued past a river which was green, algae green with mosquitos hovering over, people were taking boat rides on it. We passed rusted play gyms. S and I remained silent and let Tara soak it all in.

We wanted to leave right away but Tara had the eagerness that I once had as a child at Cubbon park. She insisted on going on all the rickety-dinkety rides and climb the mounds of garbage. At the end she exclaimed We had an exciting day today! while I contemplated getting tetanus shots.

As we walked out of the over-crowded park I asked S where people take their children on weekends to play and a passerby remarked Oh they take them to Singapore and Malaysia, not Cubbon Park. Affluence has reached my country but it hasn't reached my favorite park.

Adjustments

Swalpa adjust madi is an often used term in Bangalore. You'll hear it when you are standing patiently in an endless line and the person behind you tries his hardest to get in front. You'll hear it on the road when a motorcyclist tries to squeeze between the rishshaw and the bus and there is no place even for air. You'll hear it at the restaurant when they bring you the wrong dish and there is no way in hell they will take it back. It means please try to adjust a little when it reality it means DON'T BE SUCH A PAIN!!

The girls are doing a lot of adjusting of late:

Nisha is left on the cold hard floor. No carpets to cushion her fall when she smacks her nose on the ground while attempting to crawl. Her deliciously chubby checks have been pinched, squeezed and twisted by every single passerby. She starts to rub her eyes and nose the minute we step out the door. She has gained a loud set of vocals trying to scream over the bustling traffic aching to be heard. She is being carried by everyone and refuses to move her fat ass off the floor. She wants either mom or me at-all-times.

Tara has to play with empty coconut shells as her toys are on a container at sea. At the toy shop they don't let her touch anything unlike her favorite place ToysRus. She has absolutely no friends and mutters sadly No one wants to play with me mama, I all alone. She tries to make friends but the kids in the park can't understand her accent and give her strange looks and stare from afar. She has forgotten all and I mean every single one of her nursery rhymes. She has frequent melt-downs due to sheer boredom. People assure me that kids adjust quickly. Not my Tara, she talks of home everyday and cries for her friends everynight. The sadness is evident in her eyes and all I can say is swalpa adjust madi while holding back the tears.