40Q on 2008

It's this time of year again.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
   "Jadu-poucha" translation - swept and mopped the floors.
   
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
   Here's what I said last year: I want to settle down whether it be in the US or India or anywhere, I just need to settle.CHECK! Cut down on the carbs and get back in my size 8's. CHECK! Visit Avi when he moves to Shanghai. CHECK!
   For 2009 I'd like to:
   - Focus on getting fit and eating healthy
   - Critisize India less and enjoy it more
   - Learn to cook Dal
   
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   Lakshmi & Arvind had Roshan, Jen & Matt had Polly, Amita & Rajesh had Anya
   
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   No.
   
5. What countries did you visit?
   China
   
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
   A job
   
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
   April 9, 2008 I became a SAHM
   
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   Clearing out an overstuffed garage and doing it alone while trying to handle an infant & toddler.
   
9. What was your biggest failure?
   Not saying a proper goodbye to so many of my dear friends.
   
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    No
    
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    I went to Delhi in November and shopped only for myself. For the past 3 years all I've worn were maternity clothes and yoga pants. It felt good wearing outfits that actually had a shape. My friend Nive played the fashion expert while I whipped out the credit card.
    
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
    Tara had her entire world shifted and she took it so well for a two year old.
    
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
    The behaviour of the Indian politcians during the Mumbai attacks.
    
14. Where did most of your money go?
    Shipping a container load of Charmin, Bounty, Nutella, Cascade Chips, Saltine crackers to India.
    
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    - Visiting Avi in Shanghai
    - My dear friend Arun's engagement
    
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
    Gosh I can't name a single one.
    
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
    happier or sadder? Sadder
    thinner or fatter? Thinner
    richer or poorer? Financially much poorer
    
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Read to my girls instead of putting them in front of the TV.
    
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    Spank Tara
    
20. How will you be spending New Year's?
    For the first time in years we'll be attending a New Year's Eve bash at a popular club in Bangalore.
    
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
    My husband, he works such long hours I hardly get to see him. SMS is our new friend.
    
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
    Yes, with the new sarees I've bought.
    
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
    None
    
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
    Haven't watched much TV since India is a season behind. I did watch the complete season of Sex & the City as well as Entourage and couldn't decide which I liked better.
    
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    Unfortunately, Yes
    
26. What was the best book(s) you read?
    R.K. Narayan - English Teacher
    
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    Again can't think of any, haven't tuned into iTunes for almost a year.
    
28. What did you want and get?
    Stability
    
29. What did you want and not get?
    I lost my favorite Ann Taylor shirt in the move and I really want it back. Says a lot about me, huh.
    
30. What were your favourite films of this year?
    I caught up on a number of movies thanks to Avi's endless DVD collection. I throughly enjoyed Juno & No Country for Old Men.
    
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 35 and I celebrated it with my 4 grand-aunts, grandmother, mother and daughters. It was very special.
    
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    Electricity (7-15 hours/day power cuts)
    
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
    Finally back in my jeans!
    
34. What kept you sane?
    Lindt Mousse au Chocolat
    
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    John Abraham, where was he all my life?
    
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
    The US election
    
37. Who did you miss?
    Seattle
    
38. Who was the best new person you met?
    The mithaiwalla in Aundh, Pune. He always gives me the freshest, tastiest halwa.
    
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
    Sometimes you just have to close your eyes really tight and make a decision.
    
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

Tonight I'll sing my songs again
I'll play the game and pretend
But all my words come back to me
In shades of mediocrity
Like emptyness in harmony
I need someone to comfort me

Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
-Simon & Garfunkel

Happy New Year!

Celebrations

I had forgotten what it feels like to live in India during the festivities. There is no other place quite like it. I left India a few months shy of turning 21 and have been back only 4 times in 14 years, so truly I'd forgotten the festive moods and more importantly the festive foods. Our celebrations started in mid-Oct with Dussehra then Ayudha Puja then Nisha's birthday then Diwali and finally my Mom's birthday. Eating oscillated between traditional Indian sweets to cakes to Indian sweets. All along I battled fervently to stay after from one more Burfi and eventually ate it.

The girls really had a blast. We got them lovely India outfits to wear and they looked adorable for the little time they were in it. Tara kept tripping over the long pavada and kept asking us to take it off, Nisha was unable to crawl with it so wanted it off too. We didn't manage to get a single picture with both of them dressed up, maybe next year. I enjoyed wearing Indian sarees, the perfect attire to expand as the munching continued.

The best evening was on Diwali, we had a blast setting off fire crackers. Everyone in our apartment complex bought down their share and the boom-boom-bang went on for hours. Tara was not scared one wee bit, she wanted to light the crackers herself and enjoyed holding the sparklers. Nisha was frightened every time a 100series fut-futti went off but never to the point where she'd cry. The cracker firing went on for 4 straight evenings and every evening felt like the first time for Tara. She was screaming and yelling and running and sparkling and having the time of her life.

In the midst of the celebrations, Nisha turned one. We invited all the kids and their Moms from the apartment complex and had a get-together. Mom as usual cooked up a feast for both the adults and the kids, it was a big hit and everyone is already looking forward to Tara's b'day party. We got a fresh cream fruit cake which was really yummy, although the kids wanted a chocolate cake. Tara thought it was her party and took center stage while Nisha enjoyed from a distance. She didn't cry once throughout the evening and let Tara rip open all the gifts. Nisha is such a gentle soul.

Finally came Mom's birthday. I wanted to surprise her with a party but think we were all partied out by this point. So I sent her and Buddu for a 3 hour Bollywood flick while S and I watched the girls (for a change, I know). We decked the house with balloons and got a black-forrest cake. S's parents joined us for a quiet celebration and we got dinner from a North-Indian restaurant. I can't imagine, X'mas and New Year's is around the corner, I'm exhausted and need to spend eleventy jillion hours on a treadmill.

Oh Nisha!

My dear Nisha,

How you've grown up before our eyes. Nisha at the rate you are growing, you'll be in stilettos and 21 before I know it. Please slow down, I want to enjoy every moment with you.These past twelve months would have been hard if it wasn't for your presence. I admit that when I found out I was having a girl, another girl, I felt a bit let down. Everyone of my friends have one of each and I was having another XX. But what an XX you turned out to be! I am sorry I felt the way I did at that ultrasound, but you my dear, are my blessing. My good friend Mark described you perfectly "Nisha smiles in every picture, she looks like a sumo wrestler who has won the bout (if they were allowed to smile that is)." Touche! You are my sweetest cheerio.


I love watching you play pee-a-boo with Buddu. The way you crawl behind the wall and giggle then make a u-turn and peek your head out and giggle some more when Buddu yells Boo! She does this a thousand times a day and your giggle always making Buddu roar with laughter. You fit so well in Buddu's arms like that last piece of a jigsaw puzzle. I am so grateful you get to spend this time with her. Not everyone has the good fortune of having their great-grandmother cuddle them and play peek-a-boo. Buddu chases you around the house saying "pakad-pakad" and you crawl faster and faster, then stop, sit, take a breath, giggle and start crawling again. You are always giggling and buddu is always laughing and the house always filled with happiness.


Your sister loves you. She may not always show it but she does. I know this cause every night when I come into bed, I see you both hugging each other. She has an arm around you and you'll have your tiny hand on her face. I have to separate you two and make my spot in the center. When either of you wake up the first thing you do is crawl over me and reach out to your sister. I wish I could bottle up that moment and treasure it forever cause soon you both will have separate rooms and probably will not want to share a bathroom, I hope not. Tara does not always share her toys with you and might push you away or tell me to put you down but she does think of you a lot. When I was with her in Seattle, whenever she saw a baby she would say Mommy she is just like Nisha. She has started calling you Nisha-Busha and comes running into the hose after school screaming where is my Nisha-Busha and gives you a tight squeeze followed by a wack. She will take care of you and she will knock sense into you, all at once.


You communicate so well these days. Your first words were ta-ta and it took us a while to realize you were calling your sister Tara. You soon followed it with Mama, Papa, Agi and then moved straight to whas-dhis whas-dhas, read-dhis read-dhas, just like your sister did. You have a commanding voice and to be even more emphatic you show us sigh language too. You make yourself heard in any situation or crowd. When we don't listen to you or say no you smack us on the face! When we take autorishaws you says ehhhh-awhhhh to every single motorist until they notice you and then you give your trademark heart melting smile and erupt into a thunderous giggle showing your one dimple and 5 teeth. Soon people ignore the traffic light and concentrate on you.


You are so gentle and cautious. You have a quaint pleasing quality that I hope remains in your personality. I've noticed whenever you encounter something new, a toy, sand, a person, a rattle, a cookie you first reach out and almost touch it. You retract and then you make a second attempt, this time touching it. And you immediately look up at me for reassurance and then you touch the thing again and break into a smile. You have all the qualifications to join the NYPD SWAT team. You are yet to fling a toy or bang a spoon on the table, or shred a tissue paper, or make a mess, or break a vase. You are my porcelain ballerina.


I envy the way you rest your head on your father's shoulders. When he returns from a hard day at work you crawl at full speed to him, hold on to his pants and beg to be picked up. When he does you rest you head on his shoulder and clutch his shirt. You do this only with him. Why is that? Are you telling him life will be okay, things will get better, mom is not always upset with you for bringing us to India? That bond you have with your dad is strong. I hope you know you can rest your head on his shoulders for as long as he lives, he will always tap you on your back and say things will we alright my Nisha-Busha.


You are the most delicious, lovable, cheerful, timid, happy baby. Thank you for brightening all our lives.

I love you. Happy Birthday.

Mama

Well hello there!

At my old workplace I had the uncanny knack of running into my CEO atleast once a week. The meet would not be in the hallway where you could smile and move right alone, it would usually be in the lobby, or on the stairs or in the elevator, places where a stop-and-chat was essential. He'd invariably ask my name and follow it with a blank expression of "Wha? say that again, and this time s l o w l y". I would repeat and make some stupid joke on how most Indian names had all the letters of the alphabet in it. He could never say my first name leave alone the last name so when we'd meet he'd say "hello there". I was named - hello there, after working in the same office for over 9 years I was merely hello there. Every single time he saw me that's all he would say and it kinda bugged me that he didn't take the effort, not even a little, to try and pronounce my name but then I didn't care. But I did.

Ok, don't ask me why I'm telling you this random anecdote. Maybe it's an analogy to how I'm struggling with the India move and it's so hard to re-adjust and maybe it's just a random anecdote. I haven't had the mood/motivation/enthusiasm to write but I wanted to start posting and this is the best I could come up with. Things that have stopped this hopefully temporary lapse of writing:

1) The MOVE!
2) 12-14 hours of continuous power cuts in a day
3) Temperatures of 87F
4) Finding maids, cooks, drivers and trying not to be smug
5) Starting Tara off at school
6) Stopping Nisha from putting dead cockroaches in her mouth
7) Stuffing my face with the yummy festive Indian sweets
8) Starting the 'CouchTo5K' plan and picking couch over 5k
9) Watching S work 16hours a day with not a break in sight
10) Getting beaten at Soduku by Buddu
11) Facebook

I promise to put an actual blog post up in the coming days, if you are still out there, if you still have me bookmarked, come back! Till then let the pictures do the talking.

Seattle trip

I am totally presuming that those of you who visit this site are also on my email list so hope I'm not surprising you with a "I'm in Seattle right now" post. If for some reason I've not pre-subscribed you to my rants from India DL, drop me a line.

So, yes, I went to Pune for about 3 weeks and then landed with Tara back in good-lookin' what's-with-all-the-sunshine Seattle. Been here for the past 3 weeks and leave this weekend. S got into town a few days ago. We left little darling Nisha behind with my mom, yes I know, we are god awful parents. BUT I could not have dealt with the 28 hour plus journey on my own with both the girls. Tara puked on me on the car-ride form Pune to Mumbai so trust me on this one. I plan to arrive in Pune and quickly dump Tara on my mom's lap and keep Nisha with me for the next 29384 months, I miss her so much.


I think I chose absolutely the wrong time to come to Seattle because it's at it's best and I miss it even more. I am yet to see a cloud, a CLOUD, can you imagine that? I've been thoroughly enjoying driving around with the sunroof wide open and the hot summer breeze on my face. I've been clicking pictures of the clear skies as I can't get over it, it's clear blue all the time.


Enrolled Tara back in her daycare. She recognized all her friends and teachers and is having a blast. Her first works on arrival "It's so clean here". No surprises there my obsessively clean daughter. Took her to the Zoo the weekend I arrived with best-babysitter evah Arun. Tara just loves playing with him, poor guy endures a lot and I'm sure is re-thinking the whole will Tara be a good flower girl at his wedding, cause the girl can't walk in a straight line. She runs all over the place and back in a hurry. She been to all of her favorite places, too much to bore you with on this blog so please to be checking the pictures.

Hiatus

We are off to Pune today. Will be greeted by S and family. Will also be greeted by heavy monsoons and an apartment that still has no phone or Internet connectivity. Posting will be lite or non-existent in the next few weeks.

A new adventure awaits.

Lick!

It's not all - doom, gloom, monsoons, sewage water mixing with construction water mixing with rain water floods, mosquitos, red ants, black ants, earthworms, spiders, rats, holy shi*t gigantic rats, spit, snort, piss, cowdung, autos, exhaust, pollution, bumps, humps, pot-holes, ditches, cows, horses, camels, dogs, monkeys, snakes, typhoid, cholera, malaria, TB, Chikenguniya, Dengue, no electricity, no water, no WiFi, no phone - all the time.

For each day the 3.06 minutes it takes to finish two Kwality orange sticks, life seems delicious.

Tara's day out 2

We are guilty again of leaving Nisha home and taking Tara out to another one of my favorite childhood destinations. It's so easy to take Tara out these days, no diaper bag, no bottle feeds (she takes a bottle only at night), no stroller, no fuss. Frankly as I visit more of these kid-friendly places I don't think Nisha is missing out on much. Staying at home having your every need tended to by a dotting grand-ma and great-grand ma seems a darn good deal to me, I'm just saying.

Ok, where was I. Yes the outing, this time we went to Banerghatta National Park. When we used to go to the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle (ah, the good old days) I used to often mock the animals as la-hey-zy. They would roam aimlessly and plop themselves in a comfy corner and, how shall I put this, procreate. I thought them to be a tad spoilt. I would often comment that we needed to take Tara to India to show her a real zoo with real animals that were active and fun to watch. I wanted to take her to Banerghatta!

So we set off to the Park in a cab which arrived 2 hours later than scheduled. Tara dozed off the minute we got into the car, thank God as the ride which normally takes 20 minutes took over 2 hours, and I could not have withstood her constant are-we-there-yet drone. A garbage truck had stopped in the middle of the road and caused a huge traffic pile-up, no one seems to mind this in India. People honk their horns louder and edge forward in their vehicles listening to the latest bollywood hits on full blast.

As soon as we entered the park a dude rudely pushed us into a line to the side of the entrance. He figured the first thing anyone does is go on the Majestic Animal Safari. We join an overcrowded mass of people standing millimeters apart in an extremely long line. The bars that zig-zag around are so closely spaced that at any point you have human contact on all 4 sides. As you get pushed forward you have to avoid eaten corn cobs, plastic bottles, straws, banana peels and spit (there was so much spit on the wall, I wonder how can you spit and not have it boomerang at you since there was NO SPACE between you and said wall). Adding to the uncomfortableness was a big asbestos sheet covering the waiting area, since it had rained, water was dripping through and the asbestos made it even more humid and sweaty. I wanted to turn back but once you are in the line, you are in the line with no way out!

We finally got into the worn-out bus and S wondered how that was going to protect us? Even he could knock it down with one hand leave alone an angry tiger. The windows of the bus were all grilled but each had a largish square cut-out in the center, a person could easily put his hand out and get bitten by whatever animal was trolling beneath (I later realized that it was cut so you could take pictures and not have grills show up in the pics, what a risk to take). We set off on the ride with Bollywood music blaring and the bus driver singing away merrily.

We enter the first section and see a whole load of massive ant hills, no animals. The next section we see two starved bears. They are so old and depleted that they don't even bother coming to the bus asking for food. We then enter the lions section and see one tired lion, we could count it's ribs, pacing up and down. By now Tara is getting restless, where are the animals mummy, where is Sher-Khan the tiger she asks? We enter the famous tiger section, we see a bunch of them roaming around and a majestic white tiger. Tara enjoys watching two cubs playing together and I think to myself this is the Park I remember. But my heart ached as I knew these cubs will grow up to be sad, depressed, starved, ill-treated animals all too soon.

That was the Safari, majestic I think not. This Park used to be filled with animals, only a handful remain. The driver drove like a reckless lunatic on the way back. He banked every curve on the narrow mud roads at what seemed like 100km/hour. I was all dude-why-the-rush and S promptly said - he probably wants to answer natures call! S was right, the driver didn't make it to a restroom, he stopped in the lions section got outta the bus and took a leek. No fear. As we drove back we passed poor people walking around in the guarded sections cutting branches to use as firewood, with no care about the prowling animals. Survival of the fittest in every sense of the word.

When we got out of the bus. Tara noticed a cow eating from a garbage bin. She mumbled so sad mama, I feed it some grass and headed off to do just that. My girl is learning.

July 20, 9:42pm

The kids were ready for bed. Both had been given their milk, Tom & Jerry was switched off, air conditioner was set to 24C, Mosquito repellent was sprayed and the comforter was unfolded. S was lying on the the bed watching Tara jumping on the bed, I was singing 4 silly monkeys and my Mom was arranging the pillows. Nisha was sitting quietly in the center playing with S's cellphone and in the softest possible voice mutters Mammah pause Papah. We all collectively stopped and melted into a mush around her.

Life is hard here but oh so very good. The end.

Park across the street

My father built his house right next to the one he grew up in. In those days the area was considered a wilderness - it was pretty far from everything and the only thing it was known for was a running track and a swimming pool which had a park in it. We used to come every holiday and stay a few days in the house dad grew up in and look at our home wondering why in the world he built it in this part of town. All we did was stare at a gigantic sprawling Rain tree in the park and run underneath it to feel rain drops on our face in the scorching summer heat.

How things have changed. The area has turned into a bustling locality as it's on the way to the IT town. It's crowded, traffic packed, animal packed, vendor packed, noisy and messy all at once. The one thing that has remained is that huge Rain tree. The park has been a boon to us, we take Tara to it everyday as it is literally across the street (if we can ever cross the street!). Parks and trees are a scarcity these days in Bangalore and we are very fortunate to have one that we can hop to and hop back if there is a sudden downpour of rain. My dad chose well.

Tara has made a good set of friends (3 boys and 2 girls) she as always is the youngest. Communication is a problem. None of them speak English, they learn a few words in school but mostly speak their native language. She has been exposed to Kannada, Tamil, Telugu, Marathi and Hindi. She is often puzzled at their speech and looks at me going Wha? I chase her and the boys around constantly providing translation services back-n-forth. Luckly they all understand Kannada which is the local language and I can speak that. They are learning more English thanks to Tara and she's, well, talking in gibberish to us.

She hangs out mostly with the boys as they monkey around, throw stones in the dirty mosquito ridden puddles of water, dig out earthworms with sticks, tug on the branches of the trees, pull the petals of the marigold flowers, use twigs as swords, chase the dogs yelling ruff-ruff and then run back when the dogs bark, break down ant hills and piss on the park walls. Tara is exhausted by the end and it gives her an outlet for her never ending energy. The boys who she has named Diego (Dilip) and Rahool(Rahul) fight over her and protect her. As soon as she arrives they run to her and give here their cars and batman toys to play with. The have figured out a unique language among themselves and enjoy their time together.

Every few days a new kid comes to the park. These are the NRIs(Non-Resident Indian). They speak English with an American accent, hold Spongebob sippy cups and wear Stride Rite shoes. Tara immediately runs to them and says Hi I'm Tara, what's your name? They give her a stare, hold their sippy cup even tighter and walk away. Tara frowns, pouts and then runs back to her buddies. The parents of these NRI kids struggle and make conversation with me, I see both envy (I've managed to return they haven't) and pity (poor me stuck in this chaotic country) in their tone. We talk about the cities in the US, the weather, the pollution and go our merry ways.

My best friends have become the geriatrics. All the kids come with their grand-parents, I am the only mother in the park. Everyone is so busy making money that kids are brought up predominantly by their fatigued grandmas. They sit on the benches and gossip about long IT working hours, how daughers-in-law don't cook and how the recession has hit the US. They advice me on what to feed the kids, what Hindu shloka's to teach them and pride in the fact that I made the journey back to India. Mostly they are grateful that I chase after their grand-kids so they can catch a breath.

We are pretty popular - we're known as the girls from Seattle. One day while I was stopping Tara from flinging mud an old lady came up and said in broken English "Neevu Seattle inda nah? My son worked there. He lived on some island, it was 4houses down from that man who started Micharowsaft. The house faces a big lake. I don't like lakes they are not safe. My son got citizenship and come back. I like him to stay here, it was very far to visit, I am old. It rain too much in Seattle, very lonely in rain. India thanks you for coming back." She continued on her evening walk while I stood there, stunned.

Thirty Five

To the ...

.. newborn - Your dad almost dropped his suitcase on your head when he tossed it over the hospital crib not knowing you were right there. Somedays you made him wish he had but he loved you too much to even think it.

.. 6 year old - Your brother arrived seemingly taller than you at birth. He will become your dearest confidant so the bite you gave him on his arm cause he was stealing your limelight was totally uncalled for.

.. 10 year old - You watched, alone, as your father lay in a cold, cold ICU not understanding the concept of a heart-attack. This experience would give you courage many years later when you sit in a much colder ICU bidding him goodbye.

.. 14 year old - You got your drivers license by dressing up in a sari and wearing flowers in your hair. How did you manage to fail the US drivers license test at 24, when teenagers pass it?

.. 18 year old - You bunked one too many Hindi classes in college. No wonder you get nightmares of not passing your Hindi exam every other night. No wonder you hate Bollywood movies.

.. 20 year old - Learn how to make Aloo Gobi from your Mom, she worries for a reason and not just because she wants to put an add in the Sunday Matrimonials.

.. 21 year old - You will eventually ask the dude who chased you around a tennis court to marry you, so quit playing hard-to-get. That dude is a keeper.

.. 24 year old - You'll move to a city where it rains every day except for one day in July, you will however miss it dearly. Enjoy every single wet raindrop.

.. 26 year old - Buy that Victoria Secret outfit. You will never be a size 6 again and not only will you stop receiving the catalogs they won't even make your size anymore.

.. 30 year old - Don't stress over not getting pregnant. Relax, watch HBO on Sundays even if it's a rerun of the Sopranos as your weekends will never be the same again. You will never be able to sleep-in past 7:30 AY-HEM EVAH.

.. 35 year old - Happy Birthday, baby-O!

Tara's day out

S visited over the weekend and we decided to do what I did as a little girl in Bangalore, go to Cubbon Park. We left Nisha at home, for the record we felt very guilty and decided this would be the last time we go out with only one child. Yes we are terrible parents but by the end of this post you decide if she was better off at home.

We reached Cubbon park at 11am. The park has a train ride which as a kid I used to thoroughly enjoy, I remember it vividly. We'd reach early, get a ticket, then go buy pink cotton candy and get onto the train. As we approached the ticket counter there was a long line with about 100 people ahead of us. I chatted with the anxious parent in front of me who said it opens only at 11:30am, even park attendants wake up late on Saturdays he snickered. S took Tara to play with a Penguin statue (he soon discovered it was a trashbin with no trash inside. Indians throw thrash everywhere but in a bin). The line finally began to inch forward around 11:45am. The first set of folks cramped into the train and I got to the ticket counter.

B A N G !

The electricity goes. The man operating the cash register yells out for a dude called Ganesha to turn the Generator on. Nothing happens. GANESHA he yells again. At that point I wonder if he is actually yelling to the Gods. I wait. I ask why he can't use paper tickets, the cost is Rs10/person it's easy to calculate. He glares at me with a too-much-work look. The people behind me are crushing me trying to edge past while I stick my butt out to block them with my hands firmly at the ticket counter so noone can squeeze their cash in. One parent yells is the Generator at Jog Falls, I laugh with my butt and hands still firmly planted. Finally the guy returns reluctantly with paper tickets and mutters, Ganesha is nowhere, he's probably gone to have his morning chai. (Morning Chai at Noon?) I get the ticket and go to the train stop to find out that S & Tara have already gone on the 5 minute ride without a ticket!

Since I had bought tickets I insist we go again. I wanted to re-live my childhood on the train. As the train creaked forward we gasped at piles of garbage on either side with flies trying to find food. We pass a restroom which was so filthy I thanked the stars for my strong well-trained bladder. Right next to the restroom was a sign that boosted "First in Cleanliness" I almost dropped my camera in shock so couldn't get a picture of that. We continued past a river which was green, algae green with mosquitos hovering over, people were taking boat rides on it. We passed rusted play gyms. S and I remained silent and let Tara soak it all in.

We wanted to leave right away but Tara had the eagerness that I once had as a child at Cubbon park. She insisted on going on all the rickety-dinkety rides and climb the mounds of garbage. At the end she exclaimed We had an exciting day today! while I contemplated getting tetanus shots.

As we walked out of the over-crowded park I asked S where people take their children on weekends to play and a passerby remarked Oh they take them to Singapore and Malaysia, not Cubbon Park. Affluence has reached my country but it hasn't reached my favorite park.

Adjustments

Swalpa adjust madi is an often used term in Bangalore. You'll hear it when you are standing patiently in an endless line and the person behind you tries his hardest to get in front. You'll hear it on the road when a motorcyclist tries to squeeze between the rishshaw and the bus and there is no place even for air. You'll hear it at the restaurant when they bring you the wrong dish and there is no way in hell they will take it back. It means please try to adjust a little when it reality it means DON'T BE SUCH A PAIN!!

The girls are doing a lot of adjusting of late:

Nisha is left on the cold hard floor. No carpets to cushion her fall when she smacks her nose on the ground while attempting to crawl. Her deliciously chubby checks have been pinched, squeezed and twisted by every single passerby. She starts to rub her eyes and nose the minute we step out the door. She has gained a loud set of vocals trying to scream over the bustling traffic aching to be heard. She is being carried by everyone and refuses to move her fat ass off the floor. She wants either mom or me at-all-times.

Tara has to play with empty coconut shells as her toys are on a container at sea. At the toy shop they don't let her touch anything unlike her favorite place ToysRus. She has absolutely no friends and mutters sadly No one wants to play with me mama, I all alone. She tries to make friends but the kids in the park can't understand her accent and give her strange looks and stare from afar. She has forgotten all and I mean every single one of her nursery rhymes. She has frequent melt-downs due to sheer boredom. People assure me that kids adjust quickly. Not my Tara, she talks of home everyday and cries for her friends everynight. The sadness is evident in her eyes and all I can say is swalpa adjust madi while holding back the tears.

This and That 4

I've decided to start another blog on my thoughts about the return trip to India. I'll let you know when it's up, I need to find the time first. Figured this blog is about my kids and there is no point meshing it with my rants. So you'll have to wait to know how I feel about coming back home. A teaser - Odd.

-x-

We celebrated Buddu's (my grandmother, I called her Buddu when I was a kid and the name stuck) 84th birthday. We had a surprise party for her and she was so choked that her usually steady hand trembled while cutting the cake as tears rolled down her checks. Buddu is a strong lady, she had been through much in her life and yet has a warm smile and charm that is hard to come by these days. I look forward to doing the morning crossword with her, she is far sharper than me. She cooks a zillion times better than my mom and has the energy to cook for us at her age. I am thankful the girls get to spend this time with her as I cherish the moment.

-x-

My mom gave us a fabulous weekend holiday at the Palm Meadows. It was sheer luxury and a break from the madness. S was supposed to get in at 9am but the new horribly placed and planned airport opened the day he arrived. Instead of reaching at 9:10am he got in at 3:00pm! Tara waited anxiously for him as she wanted to dive into the pool. Poor guy didn't even get a chance to eat as he was whisked away by the little eager swimmer. I finally got a break, it felt good being completely ignored by otherwise clingy Tara. We put Nisha in the heated pool for the first time and after the initial shock she took to the water. At one point S had both girls with him in the pool and I rested in an air-conditioned room, bliss.

It was so nice being away from the constant honking and noise that is the city. The first thing Tara said, Mummy it's so clean here (we all looked at each other shocked). Nisha stop rubbing her eyes and nose, she seems to be affected by pollution. It felt like we were in San Diego, the prices were the same too. 270$ a night for a tiny room, did your jaw just fall to the ground, mine sure did. Things are frightfully expensive here and now that I am a housewife (what me, ME, ME???) I am starting to feel the pinch. But enough about that, here feast on this!

Tara Talk 2

We reached Bangalore a day before the earthquake hit in China, we are well thanks for the emails. We've had either no internet connection, or no electricity or heavy rains or blistering heat so sitting in front of the computer has not been an option. I have much to say but I've told myself to remain positive for a month which has added to the silence.

In the meantime here's Tara's take on her first day in India, in her own unfiltered words:

11pm arrival: Mummy what's that smell?
1am ride home: Look there is a cow on the road! What's that smell?
4am: Mummy what's that noise? (birds chirping)
7am: I want cheerios, what's this? (mangoes)
10am: I hot take my clothes off! Rightttttt now.
11am: Ants! Marching ants!
Noon: I want to go bye-bye.
1-2pm: Zzzzzzzz
3pm: I hot. Water I want water.
4pm: I want to go in tuck-tuck. (three wheeled rickshaw)
At farmer's market: Mummy they throw food on the ground. That not clean. Dog cross road by self. I want banana, it's yummy.
5pm: I get awyee on leg. Ant bite me, naughty ant. (mosquito)
6pm while I talk to Nisha: Mummy no talk to strangers.
7pm: Where's Avi gone? I want to go to Avi's house. I want new playground.
8pm: I have so much nose kakah.(pollution = a lot of snort)
9pm: Please can I go home now, Mummy? (Sniff)

Goodbye China

Our holiday has come to an end and we leave for Bangalore on Sunday. The first week of my stay here was unbearably hard managing the two kids but like always my Mom saves the day and the past three weeks have been fab-ul-ous. My brother played the perfect host and the girls and I were the guests who would never leave if given the chance. Avi didn't let me spend a single dime for the entire stay, he kept filling up my wallet every night with cash and I wondered how the money never finished (doh!). I always said he was lucky to have me as his sister but that has definitely changed to I'm goddamn blessed to have him as my brother. He has grown into such a nice kid, I wish my dad was here to brag about him and pat him on his back (I can't reach his shoulder).

I'm so glad we made it here, with the fisco of the tickets I wondered if it was worth it, worth every second I tell you. The girls are even more attached to Avi now. I had a chance to unwind, eat good food, watch a movie a day, enjoy the girls grow, go shopping and buy clothes that was a size XXXL, let me say it out again triple-X-L, argh can I blame that on two kids in 3 years and get away with it? We arrive in Bangalore at midnight and waiting to be greeted by Buddu. The India madness adventure begins.

Sightseeing Shanghai

We go out every single day with the girls some days are fun while others are draining depending on Tara's mood. We've figured out a good plan in these last few days of our China trip - take Tara out for some fun activity (not shopping!) in the morning so it tires her out so she will attempt to sit quietly in a stroller while I check out some handbags later in the afternoon. Nisha is a gem, she is no trouble at all it's Tara who's the handful.

It's hard trying to sightsee with two young children. Half the time is spent putting them in strollers or taking them out and the other half is spent keeping them busy. I wish S had come on this holiday we really need 3 people to look after 2 kids. Avi has been working extremely long hours and he does his bit keeping Tara throughly entertained when we are at home but doesn't come out with us. By the time we return after an ntire day out we are exhausted and sleep off by 9pm!

We went to a 900 year out water town the other day and hell was it an adventure. The town was 2.5 hours aways which was tiring in itself as keeping the girls happy in a minivan without a dvd player is HARD. We finally reach the place and had to take a rickshaw to go to the town since the lanes are very narrow, built before cars exsisted. I felt so guilty siting in the riskshaw listening to the man huff & puff that I got down and helped him pull the cart along (afterall I'm the maid to the girls anyway). We took ages to reach the town. He drops us off in one ambigious alley and points to get out. We venture in thinking it's only an alley but NO, it's an entire town with small lanes with water on either side and miniature houses. We carry the girls with just one bottle of milk in my bag and walk around. Tara starts to get cranky and wants to run. I am frightened to let her walk as one step and she can fall into the murky waters. We decide to take a ride in a boat to take a break from carrying them. It's a pleasant ride but they drop us off on another part of the town and the sign that says exit points to the bloody river! We are completey lost the girls are crying by now, no one speaks english and we don't know which direction to walk. The town is full of mini islands connected by mini bridges so we don't know which one connects to the mainland. After an hour of walking aimlessly and crossings 5-10 mini briges and talkings to 345 chinese in sign language we find our way out. I had shouted at Tara about 500 times by then. In all that we didn't get to enjoy what was an absolutely beautiful place and I had left the camera in the rickshaw (not that I had the time to take a pic with a wriggling Tara on my hip)!

After that adventure we've stuck to more accessible surroundings and made sure we carry the diaper bag with us at all times. We took Tara to a water park and she had a blast. It kept her in such good spirits that she kept repeating We had a fun trip today! We've also gone on a jungle safari which was equally fun. Tara enjoyed riding in the bus more than watching the animals that followed us loking for food. We've gone to beautiful parks as all the flowers are in bloom and it's simply gorgeous. We've gone on boat rides and bumper car rides and managed to shop just a little bit. Just a little more than a week and we'll be out of here but we'll be back for sure.